Good First Impression
How should I phrase my first message when I find a woman I like and want to contact her?
I have been using:
Hi, I’m Tim. I’ve just read your profile, and you sound interesting.
Let me tell you a bit about me. I’m 28 years old, I am training to be a driving insructor. I like pubs and clubs, I like travelling and going on holiday. I like all music, I like listening to all different bands. Occasionally I chill out at home watching DVDs.
I would like to find out more about you. If you are interested please check out my profile and get in touch. Hope to hear from you soon.
Tim x
Problem is I’m not getting any replies, I’ve tried contacting lots of women on the website in my quest to find a girlfriend. My profile tells them more about me but they are just not responding. I’m not a bad looking man, I have got a beard which is neat and maybe makes me look older.
I’m not sure if my first message is quite right or is it my profile in general that is not appealing? Is it that my message comes across as laid back, or is that a good thing?
Can anyone out there help me please? How do I word my message to get women interested so they contact me? Any advice greatly appreciated.
2 Responses to “Good First Impression”
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Hey, I used online dating to meet about ten women before I met my current girlfriend.
I doubt it’s you in general that’s putting them off. This is what I think you’re going to need to do:
First, if your subject line is something like "Hey" or "Hi," then chances are that she’s not even opening your message. She get’s tons of these boring-looking messages. Instead read her profile and find something interesting and unique about her. Then mention that in your subject line. This will grab her attention and get her to at least open your e-mail.
Second, ditch the introductory paragraph. She can read all that stuff on your profile. Keep your first e-mail really short and fun. Again, make it personal to something she mentioned in her profile. If you can make it into a joke or something that pokes fun at her, that’s even better. But just keep it short and sweet.
For example, there was a girl I saw who was holding two Starbucks cups on her profile picture. My first e-mail to her was simply: "So, I take it from your photo that you REALLY like Starbucks…"
Hope this helps.
Your initial message is all about you, that’s what is wrong with it. The info in the middle paragraph should be in your profile, not in your message. (Why do you need to say your age, surely that is in your profile?). The only good thing about your message is that it is the right length.
The introduction of your message is Wishy washy. Men who want to get my attention say they are fascinated by my profile, not ‘you sound interesting’. I don’t believe that you have read my profile either – prove it! Comment on something in my profile, relate it to yourself and expand on it, to show that we have things in common. Stop talking about yourself and show that you are interested in HER!
"I like all music " sounds really lame. Nobody likes everything, when people say they like anything it generally means they have little interest in it. Say what you do like, mention a couple of your favourite bands, otherwise don’t mention music at all.
The last paragraph is just waffle. You don’t need to tell someone to look at your profile if they are interested.
You do know don’t you that women are considerably outnumbered by men on dating sites. This means that girls your age are going to be getting tons of messages so they can pick and choose who they reply to. So you have got to work at your message to make it stand out from the crowd. Make your subject line interesting and different (maybe pick a phrase from her profile) so that your message stands out from the generic ones that just say ‘hi’ – make her want to click on yours first.
Try this different approach and see how it works. Keep trying different things until you get it right